the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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