My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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