Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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