let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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