So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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