I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My ass is underappreciated
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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