Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
