He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
