have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize