All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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