D3 body, D1 cock
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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