Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize