when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
