yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
