I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize