looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize