just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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