Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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