So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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