Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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