What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
