sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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