I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm bleeding and have questions
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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