did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize