Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
