He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
