I just saw a hot homeless man
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
