I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
