how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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