she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
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Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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