I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
