Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
