Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
