When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh god it's open bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
