idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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