K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
