I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize