After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
