Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This toilet bowl is my home.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
