I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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