I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
