i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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