so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Houston, we have a blender
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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