If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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