Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
