hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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