My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
