I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What a dumb baby whore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
