so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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