i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
