uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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