when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize