then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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