so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
