Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
