Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
