new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
