she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
