Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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