OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
