We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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