Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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