There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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