small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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