Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
