We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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